


Day of Doom

by Jassanja



Category: Apocalyptica
Genre: Crack, Gen, Halloween challange, Horror, Humor, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-05
Updated: 2010-12-05
Packaged: 2017-10-13 12:58:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/137619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jassanja/pseuds/Jassanja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A plot rat gone wild, zombies and fluffy bunnies. No, really!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day of Doom

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written in 2006, and got jossed about a year later with the release of the "Worlds Collide" Album.  
> There was a slight edit in 2010

Mikko was late to rehearsal

He could already imagine how the others would react. Eicca would scowl at  
him but not really be angry. It was after all only the first time it happened this year. Paavo would just smile at him. He knew how annoying traffic could get in this part of Helsinki.  
Perttu wouldn't even get to know that Mikko was late because he was usually even later.

This made Mikko smile as he took the last few steps down to the basement of the building where they had set up the rehearsal room.

He opened the door and screamed. Screamed like he never had before, not even that day when he was dragged on a roller-coaster from hell.

He noticed mid-scream that Perttu for once had already been there.

There was no mistaking him, not even with that fat ugly rat in front of him. Not even with the rat clawing and nibbling on the fleshy string hanging out of Perttu‘s slim but now bloody belly.

There were other heaps of bloody things laying on either side of Perttu and the rat.

Mikko felt his stomach raise when he registered that the blood had soaked long strands of blond hair on one of those heaps. The heaps that were the bodies, or what was left of them, of Eicca and Paavo.

Mikko fell against the door frame, his legs refusing to support him any longer, and he throw up violently .Wave after wave of nausea hit him like a fist into his stomach until his world blacked out.

He found himself on the floor, in his own vomit, when he came to himself again.

"About time," said a squeaky voice beside him. "I was afraid you would not  
show up today at all and I can't keep these bodies fresh forever, you  
know!"

Rubbing the sleeve of his sweater over his sticky mouth Mikko looked up  
and right into the red eyes of the rat. Mikko blinked once, twice, then  
shock his head.

"Rats can’t talk!" he mumbled to himself and tried to stand up.

"Oh, you are right, normal rats can't talk. But I am not a normal rat, I am a plot rat. Sure thing I can talk, better than you, in many a language." The rat was nodding while it spoke and Mikko could watch how a drop of blood formed on one of its huge whiskers. As it dropped onto his dirty sneakers Mikko was heaving again

"Now, now, now, don't make such a drama out of it, it's just a little blood after all," the rat was scolding.

"But you killed my friends... you ATE them!" Mikko suddenly screamed at the rat. He felt like this was a good time to go crazy, he was talking to a rat already after all.

"I just had a little snack. Two of them are to skinny to be proper food anyway. But they were all very tasty. Do you want a bite?"

"I don't think so!" Mikko said. He swallowed empty a few times to calm his  
stomach then he carefully stepped through the slippery blood pool on the  
floor close to what must have been Eicca. As he stood beside the fleshy  
heap he realized how stupid it was to try in and find a pulse. His friend was as dead as one can be.

He fell down on his ass, tears running down his cheeks uncontrollably.  
The blood that soaked through his jeans now was still warm. It didn't matter, his cloths were ruined either way.

"You can kill me now too, just make it quick," Mikko told the rat.

"Kill you?" asked the rat as it came over to him and sat atop the Eicca  
heap. "I still need you, you need to save the band and it's music. That is  
why I am here."

"Save the band? Save the music?" Mikko was shaking his head. He wanted to  
scream but had no energy left. "There is no band anymore, you killed them all. There is no one left," he finally whispered at the rat.

"Oh, that is not a problem. I will give you a little something that will help you to raise these corpses. You will have a band again. Sure, they will be zombies, and you will have to feed them lots of fresh meat, but they will be able to play again. They will play the music that you write.  
Good music, not that crap that they played so far." The rat got excited and rubbed its claws over its whiskers.

"A lot of people like the music that you just called crap!" Mikko told the rat.

"Perhaps they did, but I didn't like it!"

"So this is all about you?" His energy was getting back. He jumped back on his feet and was ready to kick the rat off of the body of his friend.

The rat attacked and jumped into Mikko‘s face, clawing and biting him  
until Mikko slipped on the blood beneath his feet and landed back on his  
ass.

"You will listen now, you stupid little fucker!" screamed the rat high  
pitched, while one of the claws was scratching its pelt. "I have this  
contract here," the rats claw came off the pelt, holding a rolled up piece  
of paper that was bound with a red ribbon.

"This contract allows the plot rat that carries it to do whatever  
necessary to any musician it comes across." The rat slapped Mikko with the  
other claw. "You will either write me music that I like or you will suffer!"

The rat put the contract away and got a plastic bag filled with purple powder out of its fur.

"Put that on the corpses in five hours and you will have your zombie band back in action. Write some good music until tomorrow, I will be back after breakfast, and then I will see results or you will feel my whip!"

The rat hopped off of Mikko‘s body and was gone in a puff of smoke.

****

Mikko was restless. He had to leave the room with the bloody mess, but the  
image of it was burned deep into his brain. He was unable to go far, afraid to end up in an accident, be it as a victim or the guilty.

So he ended up walking up and down in front of the building.

He still hoped that this was all just a dream, and that he would wake up  
soon if he just walked out here long enough.

As he continued he remembered that there was still someone left who perhaps  
could help him. He flipped out his cell phone and called Antero.

Three rings and he had him on the line.

"Hey, this is Mikko, I have a problem here, there is a big rodent, and it  
killed the others, and it wants to whip me tomorrow if I don't compose  
some good music, and we can't go on tour if most of the band are zombies,"  
Mikko told in a fast flow of words.

"What?" Antero asked.

Mikko took a deep breath and tried again. "There is a rat, and it has  
killed Paavo and Perttu and Eicca...."

"Mikko, really, I like you and everything but you should not be drunk so  
early in the day. Eicca will be rather pissed when he finds out that this is the reason why you did not show up at rehearsal." Antero interrupted him before Mikko got any further.

"But the rat…," Mikko tried to explain again.

"If you really believe that there is a big rat going around killing people, then just get some rat poison. And then go to bed and sleep it off. I will talk to Eicca tonight and tell him that I kept you from rehearsal. Bye!" Antero hung up without giving Mikko the chance to say anything more. Mikko gaped at his phone for a moment then put it away.

Rat poison?!? Perhaps that really would be the solution. There was an apothecary in walking distance, he should be able to get some of that stuff there. He would lay it out, then he would raise his band mates as zombies and wait until the dream was over. After all if one is stuck in a crazy it would be the best to just go along with it.

******

He got the poison but once he was back in the rehearsal room he was not  
sure if he should put it out already.

He was about to raise Eicca, Paavo and Perttu as zombies and the bunny  
had said that they would need a lot of fresh food.

Would rat poison work on zombies too? He didn't want to kill his friends  
again as soon as he had given them back life...or at least some sort of  
life.

Then he came to the conclusion, that perhaps the zom... the band would see  
him as fresh food too.

Mikko looked at the bag with the purple powder.

To do it or not to do it? Did he really have a choice? Not really, but if  
they did feed on him, he would no longer have to worry about the rat after  
all.

Shrugging he opened the bag and stepped over to Perttu.

He didn't know if those zombies would be like the ones in the movies,  
super strong and all, but if anything went wrong Perttu would most likely  
be the one Mikko could wrestle down.

Mikko took a good hand full of the powder and strew it over the bloody  
mess. Only moments later he could see the skin over the wounds close,  
and the body move. Perttu’s eyes opened and stared for a moment at Mikko  
before they wandered through the rest of the room. A jolt went through  
Perttu’s body and he got to his feet.

Perttu walked over to his cello case and opened it, took the instrument  
out and set it up to play. Only when he had positioned himself on a chair  
with the cello between his legs he looked at Mikko again.

"I want play!" the Perttu zombie told him.

"Then just go on and play," Mikko encouraged him.

"Gimme music!" said the zombie.

Mikko was shocked.

Perttu could not remember a single song? Not a note? This was not a good  
sign.

Without taking his eyes off Perttu, who was still waiting for Mikko to hand  
him some sheets, Mikko moved on to raise Eicca.

Again the powder worked like magic and healed the wounds. Again the zombie  
would raise only to get ready to play and ask Mikko for music.

"You can write music yourself, you both can make something up on the spot if it has to be. Show me that you still can do it!" Mikko urged them on, but he only got patient dumb looks from the both of them

"Oh no, please, not this...," Mikko groaned. With a sigh he did the raising procedure a last time on Paavo, who went to sit with the other two.

"We want play, give us music!" the three demanded as one.

"I'm sorry guys, I do not have any music here for you now, but let me see what I can do," Mikko said.

They just stayed on their chairs, instruments ready, and waited.

So far so good, they have not eaten me yet, thought Mikko, but he was sill watching them over his shoulder as he turned and stepped over to Eicca’s case. If there was any hope to find some music on the spot, this was the most likely place. As he put his hands carefully into the folds he watched Eicca. Under normal circumstances the tall blond would be all over him by now, demanding to know what Mikko was searching for in his belongings, but the Toppinen zombie version was only watching him with  
the same eager anticipation as the other two did.

Mikko was lucky and did indeed find a sheet with some scribbled notes on it.

The zombies played the little bit of music happily as soon as Mikko had  
given them the sheet. Once they were done they looked back up at him and  
all had happy smiles on their otherwise emotionless faces.

"This is all you are going to play for today, this is all that is ready  
for you now," he told them and to his surprise he could watch them put  
away the cellos without protest.

But the next problem was already brewing.

"We are hungry!" the zombies said again as one when they were done  
with the instruments.

Mikko looked at them like a mother would have done at a dirty child.

Their bodies may be moving again but they still looked like a big huge  
rat had attacked them and ripped them apart. Their cloths were rags, their hair  
and faces still soiled with dry blood.

"If you want me to take you three out for dinner you will have to clean up  
first."

Neither of the zombies moved.

"Get undressed and get into the shower!" Mikko said with a firm voice, realizing that only commanding them would work if they had to do anything aside from playing music.

Mikko was thankful now that they had insisted on a practical rehearsal room that included a bath with two open showers. He could herd the zombies in there and see that they got clean.

There were even some spare cloths around in a closet that came in handy  
now as well.

Mikko had to help them undress, scrub and dress again, but it went with less complications then he had expected. They looked normal again, just the way they moved was slower then they had been before this tragic day.

"Out the door and into my car!" Mikko ordered them.

First he wanted to just go to a fast food place down the street but then he remembered that they would need more raw meat, so he decided to drive them to a restaurant a bit further away.

***

Once seated at a table the zombies ignored the menu and just stared at each other across the table. Getting used to this strange situation Mikko just rolled his eyes and ordered for all of them.

"Four steaks…, three very rare and one well done" he said to the waitress.

"My friends aren't from around, they don't speak any Finnish" he explained with a smile as the waitress raised an eyebrow at the group.

While they waited for the food the zombies didn't say a single word, just continued to stare at each other.

Mikko was flinching around on his chair, getting more uncomfortable with every minute that passed.. So far he had managed the situation quite well, but now it was  
dawning on him that it would bring problems in the future.

How would this work once this day was over?

What should he tell the management to explain why the others were not willing to talk anymore and needed help with the simplest things? Hell, what would he tell the wives of Paavo and Eicca to explain them why their husbands had become animated corpses without any emotion?

Mikko started to sweat and when the food finally arrived his shirt was drenched and his appetite gone.

The zombies did not have such problems .Ignoring forks and knives they started to dig in. Not even Mikko‘s hissed command helped to make them remember any table manners they ever had. Mikko felt his face heat up as he sank deeper and deeper in his seat, hoping that no one would see him in this company.

Thankfully the zombies were done eating in minutes and announced their happiness like little babies by burping.

"Oh well then…," Mikko mumbled more to himself than to his companions, and spit discretely in one of the napkins.

"Hold out your hands to me!" he said to the Perttu zombie, who obeyed instantly.

Mikko cleaned Perttu‘s hands as good as he could with the napkin and continued to do the same to Paavo and Eicca.

"I just hope you guys are house trained as The desire to put you all in nappies or walk you to the bathroom is not high on my list."

The zombies just looked at him with more blank faces.

"Forget about it!" Mikko said and shrugged. "Time to go and put you toddlers to bed. I have songs to write or I will end up flogged."

The zombies willingly trotted back to the car, and as soon as they were  
back to the rehearsal room they also flopped down to the floor without a  
complain and went to sleep then and there.  
"Perhaps not as bad as toddlers!" Mikko said to himself, then searched for  
sheets to write on. But nothing seemed to work out. Yes, twenty years ago  
he had some lessons in violin playing but how that would qualify him in  
any way to write music for a cello band was beyond his understanding.

Mikko fell asleep around 4am, the sheet in front of him still empty.

***

A slap across his face woke Mikko up the next morning.

"What...?" he asked, but came to realization as soon as he saw the gleaming red eyes of the plot rat.

"Is that everything you got?" The rat tapped its claws angry against the rumpled sheet.

"Ehm... yes..." Mikko said meekly.

"That is not good enough. Nowhere near good enough at all." The squeaky voice became even higher pitched. "I have warned you. I have told you what I will do to you if you don't write brilliant music for me." The rat raised onto his hind legs and pushed its sharp front claws against Mikko‘s chest.

"But I am just a drummer, I have never written songs before," Mikko tried to explain, but the rat would have nothing of that.

"You did not obey. You will be punished for your failure now." Once again the rat scratched its fur and the claw came back with a long rope. Before Mikko could even think about fighting back he was bound to his chair by magic.

He only now saw that the three zombies were already up again, sitting on  
their chairs, cellos ready to play, not noticing his distress.

The rat now ripped Mikko‘s pants off so harshly that he could feel the claws biting into his naked butt. He winced and the rat cackled at it.

"You think this is painful? Just wait, you have seen nothing yet!"

A swishing sound cut the air, then Mikko could feel the hard leather of  
the whip cutting into his skin. He yelped.

Merciless the rat swung the whip again and again, fast and hard until blood was flowing down Mikko‘s legs. He screamed and the rat just hit him harder, until he had lost all energy.

The pain suddenly stopped when Mikko was on the edge of passing out. The rope vanished from around his wrists and a soft paw helped him to stand up.

It was a huge pink bunny. He must been hallucinating. Again!

Another bunny, a purple one this time, used the rope to bind up the plot  
rat before injecting it with a huge needle.

Behind this unusual sight Mikko could still see the zombies, not moving  
at all, still waiting to get some music they could play.

The pink bunny cleaned the blood off his ass and spoke softly to him.

"We are sorry that we only got here now, we didn't know where Ratty was  
hiding."

Mikko nodded even if it didn’t make any sense to him. "But it had a contract  
that said it could hurt me," he said.

"I fear the contract was faked," said the purple bunny who was standing  
beside the rat, that had fallen asleep now and was snoring. "We only set out to  
inspire, not to hurt. I fear Ratty here has gone crazy. The rabies, you know."

"It killed my friends!" Mikko told the bunnies and gestured at the zombies.

"Oh, that is not going to be a problem," the pink bunny said. "You all just go to sleep now and when you wake up everything will be fine again!"

***

Mikko woke up with a start.

"Oh fuck!"

The alarm clock had not gone off, he was late for rehearsal. He ignored  
his backside that seemed to be sore without reason and jumped out of bed  
to dress in a hurry.

"I hope Eicca is not going to kill me," he muttered to himself as he ran  
out of the house...


End file.
